I never expected to be back here.

Down by the crossroads once again.

To throw in the towel and walk away with my heart reeling from pain or clenched my teeth and stagger on forth are options I left myself with.

You once said curiosity killed the cat and now here I am, the dead cat walking.

I should never have wandered down this path but the very moment you asked me to, my heart melted and all rationale washed down with the stream of deceit.

What we had were built on lies and that’s how you thought would have ended it.

But calculations could never account for the anomalies and that is the only way I could describe what I did.

I held on tight, so sure you would notice and feel the same for me.

And I took the leap of faith.

But as I read those confessions of yours, with every word, it crushes me inside.

It never bothered me that I was neither famous nor popular because I knew I mattered to those around me.

And as I see my non existence flashing on your declaration I know I have gone to my deepest end.

Anymore down the rabbit hole and I’ll lose what I ever had.

All I ever was.

Like someone once said: “It does not mean when you let go that you will fall”

So now I’m truly ready, to let go my hold and let Him hold on for me.

All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. Only the best for you.

But this is where I stop being the reason you are happy. So I can be happy myself.

I love you. But I love me more.

Call it selfish. I call it human.