Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Loneliness has been in my heart again. That emptiness. How can I fill it to make me feel whole again.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love Tessie and she is still a very essential part in my life and no, it is not that she did not fill my heart with happiness and love. It is just that a void just opened again. A new void.
Could it be because I no longer have a focus in my life? No more lovey dovey focus?
I guess I just feel so lonely. I need a love in my life. Maybe not love. Just someone.
A lover maybe?
I must really sound like a maniacal despo. I am really not one. Deep down inside I doubt I am alone. How many of you out there when reading become afraid of the striking similarities on what we feel? At least I dare to admit it. And I m so proud of myself!
I feel like a ton better after writing it all out. Laying my vulnerabilities to world yet, I feel so tranquil. Weird ain’t it?
But hey, L*** the four letter word is weird. Unexplainable and inexplicable.
Maybe I need friends. My classmates, once I knew as friends now have become a circumstantial friendship. Only there because we are classmates.
Thanks Andrea for always being there. Even when you dumped me at the rails to learn blading myself. I knew it was for my own good. Thanks to charms, even now when you have N**, you are still there for me. I love ya peeps!
9:37 AM*
