Monday, September 06, 2004
Why do I always feel conflicting emotions?
I always feel that happiness with a tinge of sadness.
Are you really there for me? Or obligation is what that keeps you there?
Stoic is what I should be but my ability to attain such status is a question. All I really wanted in life and it all boiled down to my determination. All the mayhem in my mind as I barely hold my sanity and strut around, continuing with life as if order ruled my life.
My psych is disintegrating as I go on with my happy act.
As we gathered that day reminiscing our times we spent together. I felt the spirit leaving us, we are losing it. Losing the grip of our friendship, would we have another time together this way?
Strive for perfection, falling short of it. Am I good enough?
When we were together, I sensed an act, an act of pretence. We all seem so happy but it felt like I was watching the tv. Where everything is unreal.
Toast to the times when we were truly felt blissful. I miss you guys I wish hard to have it all back.
9:49 AM*
